Another Three Hour Tour Gone Wrong
by Red Witch
Summary: Shipwreck decides to teach Kitty how to sail a sailboat using very unorthodox methods. Of course the Misfits have their fun at this!


**Just sit right back and you'll read a tale, a tale called a disclaimer. It won't take you three hours to figure out that I don't own any X-Men Evolution or GI Joe characters. This fic fits right into the story 'Adventures in Babysitting'. Just what did happen when Althea took Kitty for a sailing lesson with Shipwreck?**

**Another Three Hour Tour Gone Wrong**

"Yo Pop!" Althea went into the living room with Kitty. "Where are ya?" 

"AWWK! Polly says the Yankees are the greatest team ever!" Polly squawked. 

"Red Sox!" Shipwreck snapped.

"Yankees!" Polly flapped his wings.

"RED SOX!" 

"YANKEES!" 

"RED SOX!" 

"YANKEES!" 

"RED SOX AND THAT'S FINAL!" Shipwreck shouted. 

"OH YEAH?"

"YEAH! BITE ME!" 

"WITH PLEASURE!" Polly shrieked as he bit Shipwreck on the ear and hung on. 

"AGGGHH!" Shipwreck hopped around trying to swat Polly away. "GET OFF! GET OFF BEFORE I PLUCK OUT ALL YOUR FEATHERS AND SEND YOUR CARCAS TO EMERIL LEGASSE!" 

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Kitty asked as she watched the insanity. "Your dad looks kind of busy." 

"Don't worry about it," Althea waved. "It's not like he's doing anything important. HEY KNOCK IT OFF YOU IDIOTS!"

"What?" Both Shipwreck and Polly stopped brawling and looked at her. 

"As much as I'd love to watch round 467 of Polly vs. Shipwreck," Althea drolled. "I need you for a bit Pop." 

"What is it?" Shipwreck waved Polly away.

"I need you to go teach Kitty how to sail a sailboat," Althea told him. 

"Him teach her?" Polly laughed. "HAHAHAHAHA!" 

"Keep it up shark bait!" Shipwreck made a fist. Under his breath he asked Althea. "Kid what are you up to?" 

"I'll explain later," Althea grinned. "Let's just say I got some suckers to watch the babies and the Triplets for this weekend." 

"Good girl," Shipwreck grinned. "Okay let's batten down the mizenmast and set sail!" 

They went outside to a medium sized shed in the backyard. "Now all I have to do is get this baby out…" He dragged out a strange looking sailboat. 

"This is a sailboat?" Kitty blinked. 

"Better," Shipwreck grinned. "It's a land sailboat! This will teach you all the fundamentals of sailing without even going in the water! Don't even need a life preserver!" 

"But we might need a crash helmet," Althea quipped. 

"You mean we're gonna sail this thing on land?" Kitty blinked. "Is that like, even possible?"

"Of course it is," Shipwreck told her. "I used to sail the deserts whenever I couldn't get to the ocean! In fact, I managed to join GI Joe by sailing a vessel just like this one!" 

"It's true," Althea nodded her head. "He did." 

"No way," Kitty shook her head.

"Way," Shipwreck grinned. "Come on, let's get her ready!" 

"But how can we sail it?" Kitty asked. "There's no wind."

"Well that's where the miracle of modern technology comes in," Shipwreck grinned.

"Oh Pop you ain't gonna use the Blowmaster 5000 again are you?" Althea asked. "After what happened the last time? We just got a new backdoor!" 

"Just shut up and get the wind machine ready," Shipwreck said. "I know what I'm doing." 

"Uh oh…" Polly gulped.

"You know I think I'll skip this ride," Althea grumbled as she walked away. 

"Some ninja you are!" Shipwreck snapped. "I gotta do everything myself. I'll go get the remote control ready. Also I'll attach it to the back of the boat with a pulley and…" He started fiddling around with some tools. 

"I gave up a driving lesson for this?" Kitty gulped. 

Several minutes later Lance was out in the backyard noticing the sailboat. "Kitty?" He blinked.

"Uh Lance I wouldn't go over there if I were you," Todd's voice said. 

Lance looked around. "Up here," Xi said. The Misfits were up on the roof. 

"What are you doing up there?" Lance asked. "And what's Kitty doing here? And what the heck is that thing over there?" 

"That Lance is the Blowmaster 5000," Althea said calmly. "It is the movie industry's most powerful wind machine ever designed by man. My dad 'borrowed' it from a movie set when he went to Hollywood a while back." 

"What does he need that for?" Lance asked. "And what is that sailboat for?"

"Shipwreck's going to teach Kitty how to sail a sailboat," Wanda told him. "And he attached that wind machine behind so they could power it." 

"Wait a minute," Lance blanched. "I love her but…Kitty's already a menace behind the wheels of a car!" 

"Well Lance that's why we're up here," Althea said. 

"Prepare to blast off!" Shipwreck said cheerfully. 

"Uh somebody give me a hand up there," Lance gulped. 

"Shipwreck are you sure about this?" Kitty asked as she took the helm.

"Don't worry about it," Shipwreck waved as he put on some goggles. "Sailing a boat comes as naturally as riding a bike."

"Uh Shipwreck I used to fall off my bike all the time," Kitty said nervously.

"Details, details," He waved and turned on the remote. "SET SAIL!" 

WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWHOOOOOOOOOOOSHHHHHHHHHHH!

"Wow look at that thing go!" Fred yelled. "That's amazing!"

"Not as amazing is the roof is supporting your weight," Pietro looked at him.

"Let's just say my dad's used that machine before," Althea told him. "Between that and my sisters' experiments it had to be fixed a few times." 

"Uh Al I don't know much about sailing but its not a good thing when the boat leaves a trail of fire behind it is it?" Todd scratched his head.

"No it is not," Althea sighed. She took out some binoculars. "And she's headed right for the motor pool."

"I'll bet Shipwreck takes the helm before she runs in with those jeeps," Pietro said.

FOOOOOOOOMMMMM!

"Well that's one bet you lost," Althea said.

"You would think that a sailboat would be the one with the dents," Wanda remarked. "And it's still going!"

"And it's still leaving a trail of fire," Lance pointed out. "Which has now ignited some of the oil in the motor pool."

KABOOOMMMM! 

"Wow look at the pretty colors," Fred remarked. "Anybody got any marshmallows?" 

"And look at the way all the Joes are scattering out of Kitty's path," Pietro snickered. 

"RUN!" Beach Head shouted. "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" 

"He's not gonna make it," Lance said. "Kitty's gonna run right over him!" 

"No…I don't think so," Althea pointed. "See he dived off into that mud pit just in time." 

"There goes another wall," Xi said calmly. "And now she's headed straight for that tank." 

"She's gonna crash right into it isn't she?" Wanda asked.

"I'm afraid so," Lance sighed. "Yup she did."

"Well guys let's go help," Althea put down the binoculars and they started to climb off the roof. 

"Oh man…" Kitty moaned as she staggered away from the blaze. She and Shipwreck had managed to jump off the boat just before it collided with the tank. 

"So we had a slight accident," Shipwreck gulped. 

"That is the understatement of the year," Beach Head growled. He was covered in mud and several other angry Joes were with him. 

"And the scores are…" Althea said as she held up a cardboard sign that said. 3.9. Lance held one that said 3.8. Todd held up one that said 3.9. Xi held up one that said 4.0. Fred held up one that said 3.7. Wanda held up one that said 3.8 and Pietro's said 3.5

"Over all extremely good scores for disasters," Lance nodded. 

"No offense Shipwreck but I think I'll like…stick to cars," Kitty moaned.

"And the captains and crew of all the ships at sea breathed a sigh of relief," Pietro quipped. 

"Speaking of relief," Hawk sighed. "Kids do me a favor and get Shipwreck off this base for a weekend so we can have some peace and quiet for a change!" 

"I think we can arrange that," Althea grinned. 


End file.
